Jan 182012
 
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Our aged Sky+ box has been skipping and freezing for a while and it finally gave up recently and died with a pop, it’s an ex-Sky+ box, it has ceased to be.  We’ve had a high-definition TV for some time and had always intended to upgrade at some point so this became that point and a new HD Sky+ box was duly ordered.

This resulted in us having to survive a whole day with just the standard Freeview channels. Before anyone starts saying “I remember when I was a lad…” I know this alone is a great leap forward from the five channels that were available on terrestrial TV until it was recently switched off. However it soon became clear that the number of channels were not the issue. The thing we missed was the recording features, having to watch programmes when they are broadcast and not when we wanted to watch. I now realise how little TV we watch in “real time”.

Our Daughter was the first to realise the potential impact of this and immediately claimed “dibs!” on the TV for 10:00pm that evening for her fix of “nine oh two one oh” or something. Without thinking I just nodded agreement.

I returned home that evening and after tea I settled down to watch some TV as usual. I then realised we didn’t know what was on, or what channel it was on. By the time we’d found something and come to an agreement to watch it, we’d already missed the first ten minutes.

We could have put a movie in the DVD player but we knew Daughter had already claimed “dibs” at ten so we wouldn’t have time to see one right through to the end so we didn’t bother. At ten o’clock we sat through “nine won oh too oh” which turned out to be some sort of inane soap opera. Just the kind of thing that would normally have been watched by the Daughter alone, while everyone else was out.

However, this turned out to be the only programme watched from end to end that evening. The majority of the time was spent channel hopping and saying things like “isn’t so and so on tonight?” , “we’ve just missed” and “where’s such and such a channel gone?”

The proliferation of TV channels have resulted in a proliferation of dross and repeats and I wonder if many of these channels would exist at all if you had to pay for them individually instead of them being free to air or bundled in a package alongside a couple of must haves.

Having a box that records your favourite stuff in the background, allowing you to watch things back in any order at any time is only one more step in the rapid evolution of television. In my lifetime we’ve already gone from Black and White to Colour. Then we got Video Recorders quickly followed by DVD Recorders. Then along came Satellite TV and TiVo with electronic programme guides and intelligent recording to hard disk. The picture is now HD or even 3D and selective on demand is starting to appear.

Ultimately there will be no need to record anything and all TV programmes will be available on demand, all of the time. From this it is reasonable to surmise that the days of programmes being divided up and delivered by channels will be replaced by listings by genre. Already the electronic programme guides have options to present content this way.

With the demise of the channels there will be no need to produce cheap “space fillers” to populate a channel throughout the day and so save premium content for peak viewing times. Each programme will have to stand alone and compete for viewers against premium content all hours of the day. Without financial support minority interest programming will cease to be viable and all television programming will focus purely of the mass market and we will lose a great deal of diversity.

For the more selective viewer now carefully managing the content of their Sky+ recorder they will have two options. Start watching “nine one owe two oh” or go back to reading books. Let’s just hope they don’t close all the libraries before that day comes.

 
Christmas Present

Well here we are in December once more, As this is a seasonal topic I’d like to be able to say that December is a the month that brings us Christmas. However, with apologies to Sesame Street, this Christmas is brought to you by the months October, November, December and the number of your overdraft limit.

I’ve resisted mentioning Christmas before now, Christmas needs putting back into December. It’s not like we need reminding that it’s coming and we need to buy gifts for the occasion. Do the retailers really think that if they don’t start reminding us two or three months in advance we’ll all forget about Christmas and won’t spend any money? I like to think we could all boycott any store with a Grotto, Christmas Decorations or piped Christmas Carols and jingles until the first day of December each year. Unfortunately that won’t happen as we’d all starve to death by mid November.

That said, once December arrives I have to join in with Spendmas, the period Before Christmas when the obligatory shopping is performed. I can no longer dismiss the dreaded question, “What do you want for Christmas?” by saying “Go away, it’s only <insert month here>”.  I could be more prepared for the dreaded question by having a list ready on the first of December. But that would mean thinking about Christmas in November and that would be surrendering to the enemy.

“What would you like for Christmas?” should be a nice question to be asked, we all know the objects we desire but the fact we don’t already own them is because we either can’t afford them or justify the expense. That leaves us with the problem of thinking of something we’d like but not enough to actually bother to get ourselves, like a DVD of a film you missed at the cinema that won’t be shown on TV for another two months, or something you need but not necessarily want to buy, such as socks or slippers, because you’ve worn out the ones you got for a previous Christmas.

Once you have this mental list of not so desirable gifts and Christmas morning disappointments, you have to reduce it down in consideration of the person asking the question and limit your response to a price band. This is tricky, if you ask for something they think is too expensive you look greedy. If you ask for something too cheap, you’ll probably get it.

Except where children are involved, you also have to consider how much you intend spending on the reciprocal gift. You can’t ask for something that costs more than you intend spending on the person asking the question, however if you ask for something significantly cheaper than what you buy them, they will feel bad about it on Christmas Morning and over-compensate the following year making you feel bad. You then get into an annual gift war, which becomes expensive for both parties.

One of the worst things that can happen is when the question is asked by someone who isn’t currently on your shopping list. If you can’t politely wriggle out at this moment you can end up committed to buying each other gifts for years to come.

All of this thought process has to be gone through in a moment and the brain has to shut down all the senses while it computes an answer, if you don’t believe me go up to a friend, look into their eyes and ask them; “What do you want for Christmas?

 
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